Monday, April 16, 2012

I wouldn't believe this one myself if it wasn't true

This one's a doozy --

A few months ago, during a busy weekend night shift, a man arrived, clutching a blanket to his chest.  The blanket was wrapped around something, which my technician assumed was a sick or injured pet. (Good assumption, right?)

Tech: "Hello sir, how can I help you?"

The man whispered, almost inaudibly. "I need some medicine."

Tech: "What's wrong with your pet?"

Man:  "I have a sick mouse.  I rescued him from a trap 7 days ago, and I've been feeding him, and caring for him, but I need some medicine."

Tech: "Okay, let me see him - I need to get an idea how sick he is, and gather some vitals, and then I'll go get the doctor."  The technician escorts the man and his blanket into an exam room, and asks him to get the mouse out for a triage evaluation.

The man starts to unwrap the blanket.  After he removes the first layer, he pats a clearly empty section over and over, as if he can't locate the mouse.  Meanwhile, a lump clearly is present in the remaining part of the folded blanket.

Man: "You're scaring my mouse, he won't come out unless you leave the room. We're usually in tune and right now I just can't find him."

Tech: "Okay, but I'll need to evaluate him when I come back."

The man finally pats the obvious lump on the table. "Oh, wait, I found him!"  He unwraps the blanket further, which reveals a hamburger take out box, tied shut with a sock.  He carefully and slowly unties the sock, and opens the box.

The technician peers inside the box, and sees a mouse, lying on its side, motionless, not breathing, cold, stiff, and clearly dead.  It appears to be a field mouse that was killed by whatever trap the man "rescued" the poor thing from a week ago.

"Sir, I'm really sorry, but your mouse isn't alive."

Man: "Yes, yes he is!  I know he is, and you are wrong.  I am a healer, and I have healing hands, but this time I just need the medicine too.  I just fed him before we got here and I saw him move yesterday."

"Sir, your mouse does not have a heart beat, and I don't think he's been alive for some time.  He's not moving, he's not breathing, and he's in a really awkward position."

"No, you're WRONG! I just need the medicine!"

My tech listens for a heartbeat for the man's benefit - nothing.  At this point, it becomes pretty obvious that this man is bat-shit-crazy, and she needs to get out of the closed exam room before something freaky or dangerous happens.

The tech tells the man that she's going to go ask the doctor if there's any medication that can be dispensed, in order to remove herself from the exam room.

She relays the story to me, and we realize the entire lobby had heard the conversation through the exam room door.  The other clients are concerned for my technicians safety, and ask her if she is okay.  Of course, we have nothing to help this dead mouse be less dead, so the technician returns to the man, and talks to him in the doorway, where she is in view of the other clients.

She informs him that there's nothing we can do.   He argues with her for some time, and finally gets ready to leave.  He wraps his dead mouse back up in the hamburger box and blanket.

Just before he leaves, he says, "I'll come back, when my mouse is better, and I'll make you believe me!"


  1. Yes, very sad. Also a little scary.

  2. That is a good one. I love that the mouse is in a hamburger box tied with a sock. WTF?