Stupid client phone call of the day AWARD!

Today was an insanely busy day in our emergency room, full of very sick pets, trauma, and animals who truly required our attention.  In the midst of our hectic day, trying to efficiently manage multiple emergencies at once, I happened to have the misfortune of answering this phone call:

SCOTD: (Stupid client of the day)

"Hi, my dog has some sort of swelling on his butt, and I didn't know what it was, so I cut it open, and now it's bleeding and I can't get it to stop.  He doesn't seem to be in pain or anything, but it's bleeding a lot."

Me: "Well, I'd definitely recommend you bring him on in so we can take a look; apply pressure and head on in. If your dog is bleeding then we want to get that stopped right away"

SCOTD: "Well, just tell me what you guys would do and I'll do it at home."

Me: ".... You want me to tell you what I would do on a bleeding area of your dog that I can't see over the phone? We might do surgery, we might need to ligate something, we might need cautery. You expect me to tell you how to do that over the phone?

SCOTD: "Ya, just tell me what you'd do and I'll do it myself."

Me: "That's just impossible.  If your dog is bleeding, bring him in right away."

SCOTD:  "Right, fine"

-They never showed up.  Do people call their human physician and act like this?